Recently, after holding space for a friend going through some stuff, I realized that it's been a long time since I've had a bad day. Like, a really long time. Oh, not that the opportunities have not presented themselves. Trust me, they have. But something in me is different.
Ironically, we don’t often recognize our own growth until one day we notice the absence of something from our lives—and in this case, it was bad days.
There was a time where if train was late, I just knew the rest of the day was going to follow suit—and it always did. Because I magnetically called in with my thoughts, expectations, and attitude. That was not fun.
So, what's changed?
Image © Lesly Juarez/Unsplash
When I really explored it, a few things stood out as being the catalysts for me:
• Morning practice/quiet time. For me, this is a non-negotiable. If I miss it, my day is much more likely to go off the rails.
• Releasing control. If the train is late, there is nothing I can do about it. Is there something else I can do to get where I need to be on time? If so, I do it. If not, I wait.
And here’s the thing: That extra time is a gift. It’s time to catch up on emails, read, meditate, talk to people. (Without sighs and commiserations about how terrible the trains are.)
• Starting my day over as often as I need to. Take space, pause, breathe, and hit the re-set button.
• Realizing that nothing happens to me. Are there sometimes circumstances that. just. suck? Yes! So this one can sometimes be difficult...
But I am not a victim. Either l’ve been an active participant in creating the situation, or my soul has chosen it as a growth point. And, in that case, I want to handle the best way possible so I pass the class and don’t have to repeat it!
• Becoming aware that I am not my feelings. Sure, I can feel anger, sadness, happiness, hunger, etc., but I am not any of those things. I feel hunger. I feel anger. But I am not hunger or anger.
This separation makes a big difference when realizing that your thoughts manifest instantaneously! The body and mind stop identifying with these conditions and we get through them rather than become them.
This was a gradual process. I am perfectly imperfect just like you, and I didn’t just decide one day to do all of these things and change my life. Things evolved over time and there were many ideas and practices that didn’t stick or work for me along the way. It was all trial, error, experimentation, willingness to let go, and best of all, play!
If anything on this list stands out, play with it. See how it fits into your life and what it looks like in your particular situation. And I guarantee that because you are moving energy in the direction of a happier life, things will start to change automatically—without you having to try so hard.
So, sit back, relax, and get ready to enjoy the life of your dreams.