As sensitives, we often overlook the amount of extra energy we have to navigate daily even before getting out of bed in the morning. We’ve been taught to function within the world in a way that was set up for and by the other 80% of the population. We’ve consistently received the message that there isn’t room for our deeply feeling nature, so stress ourselves and overcompensate to try to function at the level everyone else around us does in the way they expect us to. This takes a lot of energy.
For these reasons, we are very used to living in or near a state of burnout.
Admitting that there are things that we have to consider and that we have some advantages that others don’t helps us to start to navigate life in a way that feels more in line with who we are. Keep in mind that this doesn’t make anyone better or worse—it simply makes us different.
Considering these things and acting accordingly will enable us to reclaim so much of our energy. We’ll have more available to us instead of functioning from deficit all the time.
Image © Amine Mayoufi/Pexels
Here are three things you can start doing right now to feel more alive and live more on-purpose:
1. Protect Yourself.
We are not talking about the kind of self-protection that stems from fear. That simply causes contraction and attraction of more of exactly what we fear. We need not approach every situation like it’s an energetic battle.
Protecting ourselves via our own power and strength is the way to go. This can happen once we understand and accept of the sensitivity that we carry.
There are many ways to protect our energy, but the simplest and most effective is to be showing up in our practice, whatever it is for each of us. When we do the things that fill us up each day, we are filled to capacity—maybe even overflowing. There's no place for other people's energy to push its way in which can only happen when there is space, need, or an opening.
When you come to your day feeling filled up, you’re much more successful at navigating complex energies because you’ll be brimming with vibrancy and are able to shine fearlessly out into the world. You’re naturally in a state of protection because there’s no place for other energies to get in.
Though we are ultimately spiritual beings, we also have these human bodies to care for. When we're feeling hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, we are in a state of need. And when our basic needs are not being met, we are more likely to overextend ourselves or take on too much, not realizing we are in an energetic deficit.
When we notice these cues faster, we can adjust our sails and avoid situations, putting our needs and self-care first. We can replenish ourselves and then make decisions about where we want to get involved.
Keeping our energy level high means that we are feeling more equipped and are subject to less intrusion by unwelcome energies.
2. Change Your Outlook on the B-Word.
Boundaries are notoriously difficult for sensitives and empaths because we assume they will feel harsh to others. We expect people to be rocked and deeply affected by boundaries that we put up.
Honestly, if that's happened in the past, it's probably because we've never had any boundaries and people were simply shocked when we decided to start! When we stand by those boundaries, however, people get used to them and naturally begin to honor them.
People like boundaries, but where the disconnect comes in is when we consider them to be like brick walls. Once the boundary is up, we think of it as hard and immovable.
This is simply not true. The best boundaries are loving, soft, and malleable. They can be altered and moved as needed to over time. Think of them like the bumpers in a bowling lane. When someone goes too far off course they just bounce off the boundary and come back to center (or at least closer to center). It's your boundary that keeps guiding them back to the kind of successful relationship that you want to have with them.
People actually LIKE boundaries. They are the guidebook of interaction and take the guesswork out of relationship. This actually makes people much more comfortable! It’s our own pain around enacting them that we’re trying to avoid. We jump into the other person’s shoes and assume that they will react in the worst possible way, which is often the opposite of how it actually goes.
As agents of healing, we feel that we feel like we should be there to help the other person through the emotions that might come up, when that's really not our place at all. We simply get to decide what’s best for us and make changes that align with that. This enables a state of being where we have enough energy to show up well for ourselves and others—instead of having little to nothing left to give.
Boundaries are love, and they increase our ability to do just that. When we can limit the interactions that are unnecessarily taxing, we can strengthen the heart connections we have—and even start new ones!
A simple example: One family member is complaining incessantly to you about another family member. Because you love both of these people, it’s taxing you emotionally, physically, and mentally as well as eating up a lot of your time.
In addition to allowing them to use up the precious resource of your energy in a way you don’t want it used, you're also preventing them from getting the guidance they actually need. You are too close to the situation and it is not your place (even if you are a licensed therapist!) to help them navigate these feelings. They need someone impartial or a professional to help guide them through this.
You can be there for them as they move through it, but not as their sounding board or advice-giver. You might even tell them, “I want to love and support you, but this isn't my place. I cannot speak to you about this person in this way anymore. I think you might need professional help. I’ll be here for you as you navigate the changes you choose to make, but I can't be the one listening to you speak this way about them all the time.”
Your place is to be their family member and to love them. If you don't enact a boundary, they are never going to have to address the issue in a way that serves their growth—and you are always going to feel put upon and maybe even resentful. By creating this boundary, you're giving them back the dignity of their own growth process. They have to then figure out how they're going to work through this with your love as you root for them from the sidelines.
This might feel really harsh for you because you’re so sensitive, but it is really filled with love for everyone involved—including you. You might not be used to speaking these kinds of things, but they lead directly to freedom. And you know you will speak them with Love.
When you enact a boundary, the relationship might need to change for a little while, but the heart connection grows stronger. If they truly are your loved ones, any strangeness will work itself out and they will be much more able to meet you where you want to meet.
Remember, just as children test their boundaries, adults do the same—especially when first meeting. We test to see how far we can push. We're constantly playing those energetic games of interaction.
When you establish a boundary people know they don't have to play the game or guess. They know exactly what’s okay and what’s not and, for the most part, will stay within those parameters. If you become good at this, you won’t even have to speak the boundary because the way you interact will show it. This requires that you respect yourself and your energy enough to hold the boundary until they understand where it is.
This is also something you can do with Universe and your guides—decide how much you’re willing to feel and experience and in which circumstances. Then let Universe know. You are here in this human body and know how much energy you can handle. They are not. Your Divine Team wants this feedback from you so that they can communicate much more efficiently according to your comfort level!
Ultimately, you are in charge of how much energy you feel and how you feel it. Sometimes, simply figuring out what your boundaries are changes everything.
3. Ingest Well.
This is perhaps the easiest most overlooked tip of all. We are often so busy giving to others that we forget to fuel ourselves in so many ways. If we get hungry, we just grab whatever’s around or the fastest or maybe we skip a meal in the name of giving that time to something “more important.”
However, we need to be well-nourished and ingesting well in all ways—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. What are we reading? Watching on TV? Eating? Listening to? All of these things fuel us from the inside, but perhaps the most important one to start with is what we are eating because our bodies are literally built from the food that we eat.
Our cells pull pieces of the food and it’s nutrients and use them to create and replicate themselves. The condition of our cells directly correlates to the quality of what we are eating. We can start creating a strong foundation, power, and strength from the inside by making simple tweaks in what we take in.
A huge benefit to being sensitive is the ability to make big changes through simple actions. When we go to the farmers market or to the grocery store, the foods that will help us to create the right energy will become obvious to us. You’ll start salivating because the beets just look really gorgeous. The broccoli will seem to glow in front of your eyes. The onions will smell irresistible. In these and other ways, your body will begin telling you exactly what it needs.
If this feels too overwhelming, simply start eating more of what’s naturally growing in your area at any given time. Nature provides the remedy for potential imbalances in any given season—like cooling foods in the summer and grounding foods win the fall!
In this way, you’ll be able to counter the energy that can easily become imbalanced at any point in the year. It’s a simple shift, but one that can have major effects because you will be able to start the say with so much more energy available to you.
Remember, no matter what anybody says things look and feel different to us. We experience things to a greater degree than most of the population and when we give ourselves permission to own that truth we can start living in harmony with it.
Fighting against it as we were instructed to do hasn’t worked, so let’s try something else. People didn't understand, so they didn't know how to teach us any differently. You might even have erroneously been told that your sensitivity is a weakness, but this couldn't be further from the truth. It is actually your superpower, and one that this world sorely needs. It exists in you because you have been created perfectly suited to do what you are here to do in this lifetime.
You are so needed exactly as you are. So pleeeease let it be easy.
Start with these three tips and leave us a comment letting us know what's working for you and how your life is shifting.
XOXO
Theresa
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